Gratitude Holidays Connections

I am so grateful for my life. My husband, my daughters, my family, my friends, my blessings, my challenges, my health, my everything.

I heard something recently that mentioned that if we ask God for patience, He doesn’t just hand us patience; He gives us opportunities to learn patience. For example, He gives us kids. LOL. If you ask God for a strong relationship, He gives you obstacles to get through together to help you build that strong relationship. At that moment, I instantly realized how grateful I was for everything Scott and I have been through together. God certainly knew what He was doing when he introduced us. And I instantly felt gratitude for the hard parts of my life. I have always known that it is all about mindset, and every challenge and every obstacle makes you stronger, but just hearing that idea just somehow turned my mindset from appreciating those things to actually being grateful for them.

I also want to take a second to put down in words how truly lucky I am to have Scott. At my wedding my best friend said every woman deserves not the perfect man, but the perfect man for her, and Scott is the perfect man for me. I honestly believe that, even on our worst days. He works so hard for our family. He works hard to make me happy. He is so intentional about loving our girls. He is more than I could have ever dreamed up for the father of my children. He is very even keeled, which I very much appreciate to balance me out (and which he’ll need being the only man in the house with three women). I am proud of him, in awe of him, and inspired by him in his line of work. He is compassionate, strong, steady, and very smart. I constantly wonder how he does the job he does. It’s not easy to go to a job where people who don’t even know you immediately hate you and you don’t know if the next person you come in contact with will be the one who tries to kill you. It’s not easy going to a job where you have to constantly be on high alert, make quick decisions that are life and death matters, know by heart and follow the law perfectly, see child abuse daily, see people shot and stabbed, etc., AND THEN come home to a family with little girls and a wife and be able to relax and be happy and contribute so much to your home and your relationships. I am so grateful that I have a husband who does it all. I don’t tell him nearly enough. (Side note: if you see a police officer and say hi or thank you or just be nice to them, it doesn’t only affect the officer, it affects their children/family too.)

I grew up in a police family with a mom who also deployed a few times while I was in high school, so I appreciate Scott’s commitment to and involvement in our family that much more. I am thankful for her sacrifice and the discipline my mom provided growing up, but when it comes to a family bond, I feel a little empty? unsettled? yearning for more?, especially around the holidays. I’m used to the feeling by now, but the holidays just bring it to the forefront. I have been a little apprehensive, this year especially, and I kept thinking it was because Scott works, which is sucky, but I think it’s deeper than that. I think I finally have come to the realization that I want Scott to be present for holidays so badly because I want that feeling of a full, close family and a loving space, and I want my daughters to feel that too. And maybe I have bad memory, but I don’t recall feeling that bond or that closeness for the holidays growing up, or maybe I just hoped I would feel it as I got older, and I definitely don’t have that with my mom or dad, and my brother (whom I am closest to) is in Japan. I have decided that the next house hunt will include a kitchen/dining area to host Thanksgiving or Christmas as a “must have.” I will create the home base for at least one holiday that any of the family can come to, but it will always be there and I will always make a big fuss about it. My kids won’t ever have to wonder where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing for that holiday because they’ll just know I will be hosting at my house and I will want my babies to be there with me. And the grandparents and the aunts and uncles and the cousins. Along with that, my mission with my girls is to create that bond with them throughout the years and show them that they are my priority in life and give them that loving family feeling. I hope they never write in their journal that they are missing out on a connection with their parents.

“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”